自述 稱不上是創作自述的自我表述

我的創作一開始，從一個很簡單的感受出發—「赤裸」是我在大學二年級開始給自己的第一個關鍵字。

「赤裸」這個詞我提起過無數遍，一開始她更貼近一種我對於女生身體的無法對接以及難以啟齒卻至關重要的事，那時我試著將我第一次進入女生宿舍裡的衝擊與感動顯示在作品裡，「彼此坦承且承擔赤裸的場域」是《私人澡堂》系列作品的源頭，它甚至有一種以性別為口號的反抗情緒在裡面，或是對這個身體所對應的符號提出疑問。身體這個無法改變且強加在我身上的符號是我觀看自己的方式，也是自我被他者化過的觀看，這樣的觀看是導致赤裸的主要原因。 

被他者化的那雙眼睛在我的身體裡像一個審查機制，不斷地捕捉、揭露、提醒著所有不合時宜的雜質。

這樣的過程中自我與他者化的我是對立卻流動的，而我似乎是透過創作不斷的在探問我的身份。

繪畫在這裡給予了一個顯現這些過程的舞台，甚至是一個操作者、觀者、表演者相互作用的劇場，畫家身在三者其中，使繪畫成為一個坦誠卻自溺的形式。那些經過身體而產生的圖像，是畫家無法撇清關係的分身，在操作者筆下同時的顯現出來，畫面中的「誰」不可避免的成為畫家的另一個版本存在著，這個版本是自我詮釋的版本，像是神話般不可撼動。

我常常會用神話來比喻繪畫的介面。

對於我而言，繪畫裡的敘事或是意象都是畫家有權利譜寫(compose)的，但當畫面的構成顯像在繪畫的介面上時，這個介面有某種無法預期的靈性，這樣的「靈」誕生在觀者相信畫裡存在著一個「誰」，也就是我反覆在推敲的身分，那個身分透過畫面的構成、顏色、敘事被觀者推敲出來，在觀者的腦中再次形成一個自我腦捕的敘事。

這樣的過程中，我在操作者、表演者(分身在畫面裡的無法撇清)、觀者的視野裡反覆觀看那個畫面裡「誰」。這樣觀看形成各種赤裸的感受，無法言說且難以承接，但作為操作者那部分的我，似乎在利用這個操作之手嘗試奪回自我詮釋身分的權力，抑或是這個裸體的自我詮釋。

或許對於很多人而言，描繪裸體似乎只是一個紀錄人體之美的經典題材。但在我第一次沒有參照的畫畫了一個裸體時，那個身體似乎是跟我有關係。

在我無數次的操作與觀看那些裸體後，我觀察到那樣無法辨識臉孔且沒有髮型的扭曲人形，像是沒有身分的肉體，裸體的身分是最原始的型態，在當代的觀看裡，展示原始裸體甚至是反抗的姿態。那些畫面上的人物是我所感受到的身體—不斷變檢視的流動邊緣、反覆遮掩而形成的扭曲、不斷變動的膚色和一對明顯的乳房。

Statement

A Self-Articulation That Hardly Qualifies as an Artist Statement

My artistic practice began from a very simple sensation—nakedness. It was the first keyword I assigned to myself during my second year in college.

I have repeated the word nakedness countless times. At the beginning, it was closely tied to my inability to fully align myself with the female body—something difficult to articulate, yet profoundly important. At that time, I attempted to translate the shock and emotional intensity of my first experience entering a women’s dormitory into my work. The idea of “a space where nakedness is mutually acknowledged and borne” became the point of departure for the Private Bathhouse series. Embedded within it was a form of resistance articulated through gender, as well as a questioning of the symbols imposed upon the body.

The body, as an unchangeable sign forcibly assigned to me, became the way I learned to look at myself—an internalized gaze shaped through being othered. This way of seeing, in which the self is rendered as an object, is what ultimately gives rise to nakedness.

That othering gaze operates within my body like a mechanism of inspection, constantly capturing, exposing, and reminding me of every untimely impurity.

Within this process, the self and the othered self exist in opposition yet remain fluid. Through making work, I find myself repeatedly interrogating my own identity.

Painting offers a stage on which these processes can appear—a theatre where the operator, the viewer, and the performer interact. The painter exists simultaneously within all three roles, rendering painting an act that is both confessional and self-indulgent. Images that emerge through the body become inseparable doubles of the painter. Under the hand of the operator, these figures manifest at once, and the “who” within the image inevitably becomes another version of the painter—an interpretation of the self that exists with myth-like immovability.

I often use myth as a metaphor for the interface of painting.

For me, the narratives and imagery within a painting are something the painter has the authority to compose. Yet when these compositions materialize on the pictorial surface, the interface itself seems to possess an unpredictable spirituality. This “spirit” is born when the viewer believes that there is a “someone” within the painting—the very identity I repeatedly attempt to examine. Through composition, color, and narrative, this identity is inferred by the viewer and reconstructed once again as a self-captured narrative within their mind.

Within this process, I repeatedly observe the “who” in the image through the overlapping perspectives of operator, performer (the inseparable double within the image), and viewer. This act of looking generates multiple sensations of nakedness—unspeakable and difficult to endure. Yet the part of me that operates seems to use this act of making as a way to reclaim the authority of self-interpretation, or perhaps the authority to interpret this naked self.

For many, depicting the nude may appear to be a classical subject concerned solely with recording the beauty of the human body. However, the first time I painted a nude without reference, that body felt undeniably connected to me.

After countless acts of operating and observing these nudes, I began to notice that the distorted human forms—faceless, without hairstyles—resembled bodies without identity. Nakedness, as a form of identity, is the most primordial state. Within contemporary modes of viewing, the presentation of a raw nude body can even constitute an act of resistance. The figures in my paintings embody the body as I experience it: a constantly scrutinized, fluid boundary; distortions formed through repeated acts of concealment; ever-shifting skin tones; and a pair of unmistakable breasts.